How A Coming of Age Film Brought Me New Perspective In My 20’s

In my earlier post, The Power of Storytelling: Using Art and Narrative to Find Healing. I mention how seeing myself in other characters has helped me define who I am. This isn’t to say I decided I will copy and be them, but rather, that I saw a quality in someone that I admired and feel strongly in myself. I often find that coming-of-age movies shine the brightest reflections for me. However, the movie we’ll be talking about today showed me qualities in myself that were maybe not so admirable. This is a movie, that I watched just out of sheer curiosity years ago that made me cry and has made me cry each time I’ve watched it after.

Looking Into The Edge of Seventeen (2016) Directed by Kelly Fremon Craig

The Edge of Seventeen follows high schooler, Nadine, played by Hailee Steinfeld. Nadine is a complicated and frustrating character who tends to have a hard time connecting with her peers, or really anyone in her life. When her brother (who is the total opposite of her) starts dating her best friend we see Nadine on a downward spiral. She starts to make awful decisions and becomes someone who is full of cringe and quite unbearable. Yet, in that cringe and unbearableness I saw remnants of myself as a teenage girl.

In all honesty, I first watched this movie in my mid 20’s, so I was way past “coming of age”, but the experiences you go through don’t just fade away and during that time I was still very much finding myself. (I mean do we ever really stop “finding” ourselves?) What I believe was captured really well in this movie is the real and raw awkwardness that you are conflicted with when you start to figure out who you are in this world. It’s this aspect of Nadine that I felt strongly connected to and I it’s characters like this that bring out the emotional impact of films.

It’s a stage of life in which you are growing out of what you once knew and discovering new things that will change you forever. I think somewhere in that shift is a sense of confusion because you have to essentially kill off who you were to become who you are. It’s a process that you’ll do many times in your life, but it’s this first time that you go through it where you really experience the shift and that change is scary. It’s one that leaves you battling with yourself and often leads to a sense of feeling lost and maybe not liking who you are at the current moment so much.

There is a scene in which Nadine talks about “hating herself and being stuck with herself forever” It’s at these points in the movie where I get filled up with emotion and find myself shedding a tear (or many…) This is where that Static Glass really becomes a mirror reflecting realizations in me. What I recognized of myself here, is that at the time I was so used to hating myself that I was more comfortable making self-destructive choices rather than actually facing my faults and working on becoming better. Like Nadine, I internalized these feelings and projected outward so everyone else was the problem. If people didn’t like me it wasn’t my fault, it was theirs. If someone was angry with me that was on them not because of something I did.

Inspired Reflections

That’s a hard pill to swallow, but that is what is so beautiful about movies like this. I can recognize something so big about myself and that reflection gives me the opportunity to change. So like the protagonist in the film, this turning point left me at a fork in the road. Was I going to rise up or fall back down? What did Nadine do? I won’t spoil it, but I think you should find out for yourself! As for me, I took this as a wake-up call to make some serious changes in how I approach my life and the people in it. So if you’re wondering, yes, it really is possible to find personal growth through film. I’d even say it’s one of the easiest and most impactful way to get inspired to do so.

Coming-Of-Age Films Can Help Us at Any Age

In a weird way, that is sort of what “coming of age” is. It’s all about recognizing that there is an immaturity in us that can be detrimental when not dealt with as we start facing those real adult emotions or circumstances. Yet, at that age you’re still young and bound to make irrational choices. “Wrong” choices, but it’s at that point where you learn to transition into maturity, “adultness” if you will. It’s not about not making the wrong choice but rather it’s about making the wrong choice and deciding to correct it or learn from it. This is something that you can learn and re-learn at any age , so that’s why I’ll always be open to watching a coming of age film. In the end, we’re always coming of some age.

Final Thoughts

So, I’ve spilled my guts to you but what do I think of this movie overall? I’m sure you can guess that I am a fan of it. I’ve gotten so much out of it and think that most women/girls can. It’s not only full of emotion and angst, but there is also many comedic and lighthearted films that make it feel like it’s truly a “family” film. I think if you’re someone who found your teen years hard or know someone who is going through those emotions right now, this is the film to put on!

Before I Sign Off

I thought I might try something new and also suggest a song with these posts and today, I think You’re On Your Own Kid by Taylor Swift is very fitting.

What movie showed you a fault that was hard to recognize before and did it inspire a change in you? Let me know in the comments below!